Teaspoon of Bitterness

Did not end up leaving earlier tonight because of a false sense that the atmosphere had changed in a good way. Must be more trusting of my intuition - it is usually a deadly one, but no use crying over spilled milk - I've decided to stay one more night to be greeted by insomnia.                

I am writing from my phone and most likely, the format of this will be unattractive, but I feel compelled to keep track of these thoughts before they snack on my conscience and sprinkle me with a teaspoon of bitterness. I never quite decided the purpose of this blog, but it seems to be doing a good job in tracking my thoughts when they're not so pleasant, so I think I will keep this going when things don't add up - it helps me paint a picture of my mind's interior.

My mind is a complex place right now. I'm laying in my four-postered bed that was a gift from myself after a break-up, and I want to ask my sixteen-year-old self why she chose red for the walls in here. It makes me miss the tender grey shades that I wake to these days. I don't know where I'm going with this post, so I guess I'm going nowhere. I hope I don't find myself writing here too often in the time that is to come. I am prone to ramble tones when I'm feeling uneasy and talk about things that won't matter tomorrow.

I don't think that a week has ever felt so long. I can't describe the relief I feel for leaving this place - the best decision I've ever made was to move out. It's Sundayyyyyy.  Remind me to give my intuition more credit, and pinch me if I don't.